Tag Archives: sorry

Read it and weep

3 May

Before I start, let’s get one thing out of the way. Please. Go no further. No, really. Go to the ‘about my crap’ link and read it. Well, skip most of the crap if you want (it, like most of what I write will be fairly useless) and look at the last paragraph. I’m sorry. Really, in advance, I apologize. Not like you need to ‘hide yo wife, hide yo kids’ from what I’m going to say, but I am conscious of the fact that ladies who cuss can be tacky and unattractive (I know from experience). However, cussing is too fun to completely ignore and let’s face it, totally necessary to tell any good story. That’s my first disclaimer.

The next step before kicking this off: Let me remind you, this blog is YOUR fault. I tried to resist. I tried. I really tried. As much as I would love to sit around with hipster glasses and a cup of coffee and write all day, I’m so paranoid of being a douche bag that I can’t. Or, at least shouldn’t. But…..YOU….you kept saying I should, and then I got all cocky and thought ‘what the hell’? If you choose to follow this and then find yourself regretting it, don’t blame me. Blame my mother, bless her heart, and the face in the mirror. It was all fun and games when you could block my Facebook nonsense. Now look what you’ve unleashed? And one other thing that you might not have considered, I tend to slip into a Rain Man like state when writing, so anyone who would like to fill in the lapses in my daughter’s personal hygiene care, feel free. Is that her crying now? Shit.

So, I guess it’s blog time. Let’s see what happens. My prediction? A story or two about me making a complete ass of myself, tales of the weirdos that find me, musings about my husband that I’ll later have to apologize for sharing with the world and observations about shit you’ve already thought about. Here goes.

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